Not again. This time, I stayed up late and did more personal research. I kept my mouth shut so I wouldn't wake up my dog. I keep hearing her growl as the man next door is cursing the animals out. I put my headphones on to block out the noise but to no avail. I check Blackboard to see if there are any updates. I do the same thing with my email. Nothing.
I thought about drawing, but then I changed my mind. Why? Because I wanted to be drawn in somebody else's art style. So I look at my bank account, check to make sure the bills/etc. are taken care of and start to write down some ideas of what I need Crystal Sushi to draw for me. Why just her? Because I can afford her and not everyone else. Plus I look up to her and her hubby for motivation when I am down at times.
Since I couldn't sleep, I decided to stay up until 8am EST the next morning and watch "Tuca and Bertie."It is an extremely weird show about the daily struggles of what single women go through. Well that is how I interpret the show. I definitely recommend checking it out. Now as far as a season 2 of that show goes, I believe it served its purpose. However, I am more than welcome to dive in that zany world for one more season.
Before I went back to sleep and took my medicine to fight off my sinus infection, I took care of my dog, told her how much I loved her and I went to sleep. 5 hours have past and I woke up in a panic attack. I checked on my dog, consumed tons of food to make up for missing two meals and I started to think about how good God has been to me. Pretty boring right? Now is where this particular journal entry gets interesting. I check one of my social media accounts and I was in complete shock!
It was Norabloom who finally messaged me back. She was so happy to hear back from me. My expression of meh turned into a huge increase of joy. We started roleplaying again and started talking about what has been going on with our lives. Afterwards, I checked my discord and my feed was flooded with more terrible news with the gaming industry. My moment of happiness, went back to a realm of meh. I was finally starting to notice an odd pattern in my life. Instead of letting my "RoastemToast" persona get the best of me, I just tuned out and went back to talking to Norabloom.
After our fun conversation/roleplay session, I decided to look up some Youtube videos. When I typed in the letter "K" my all time rappers name popped up. I was extremely excited and decided to check out his new album. As I clicked on the first song, I was in complete awe. I listened to the whole album more than once. I shared the album with friends and family too!
They were shocked too! Not me. After I finished listening to his album multiple times, a friend of mine messaged me on Discord and stated the following:
"hey man want to ask you a favor i don't have a problem with you @everyone But Some People In The Server Do So Can You Chill On The @ Please so it can make everyone happy and not start problems overall happy the server is growing."
#FUAWFAMILY
The moment I saw that private message, I realized something. The bible verses in my head. Kanye West going back to King Jesus. The weird visions? What could this all mean? Part 1 of my social experiment is finished.
What is the social experiment? When and how it was created? Hold on now. Wait till the next few journal entries and I will tell you all. All I know now is that, I need to get my focus back and make some tough choices. And the first tough decision? Should I let my personas go and finally be me? Or should I continue to let my personas take over how I communicate with those that I am still connecting with?
But what does this have to do with Kanye West? Just keep reading my entries and you will find out sooner or later.
To be continued....
Up Next: Day 5- The multiple languages of God and change
No comments:
Post a Comment